Hmm...another week has passed just like that. How come time flies so fast when you are on vacation?

I still have no idea what to write this time. Hmm.....haven't gone to Vihara to pray, haven't listen to any Dhammadesana from any monk, haven't read any useful book. So....really no idea what to write about Buddhism.

As for my vacation...as usual. I'm dividing my week in between 2 parents, hub's and mine. It's ain't easy thing to do coz I practically living on suitcase. To make things easier, I actually left some clothes and stuff at both houses and in the end I always forgot about it.

Yesterday at mom's house....I was digging out my old winter clothes for my parents and aunt-uncle to wear for this Sydney trip. Then only I realised I have quite a few winter clothes that I haven't been using. Hmm...why did I left that behind? All I could remember I must have left them for mom to use if she goes to any cold country.

Then I found more summer clothes that I've left behind too. No wonder I kept on thinking "where are all my clothes?". Looking at those clothes I realised I have bad taste at clothes! hahahahhaa...

They are all shirts and pants. I could count how many skirts and dress I have and how many nice-decent-girl-feminine-woman-grown up shirt/dress/blouse I had with just 1 hand. I prefer casual clothing, no wonder Hub kept on asking me to buy more blouse that's not casual looking

Hub always said "why you never wear skirt or dress? Why you always wear jeans? Why you always wear flats?"...hahahhaa.....

I think I'm getting sore throat too. Thanks to all the fried foods and MSG that I've been eating in here. Aiyah...I hate sore throat.

Been playing with my beautiful niece too, Vania. She's just so cute. She likes to eat (lots) and standing up.
I can't wait to meet my bro's son too, Daren. I bet he is as cute and wonderful as Vania. Heard from mom, Daren has grown 5 teeth and everytime his mama 'brush' his teeth, he'd bite her finger. Poor her. I wonder if every kids are the same. I better prepare myself to get bitten too when I have kids

Hub's sis always got bitten by her children too when their teeth were growing. Her hands and legs got so many bruises. I told her "if you tell people you get abuse by your husband, people will believe it". The moment I finish said that sentence, she suddenly screamed so loud and there I saw her daughter bit her thigh in a BIG GIANT BITE. ouch! must be painful.
She screamed "Abel, stop it"...then she looked at her mama...then continue bite. woaaahhh...her mama must taste so yummy eh.... hehehehe

A year after, when I met them again few days back, she grew shy when meet new people. So she hug her mama so tight, buried her face on her mama's chest. Then I told hub's sis "woah...I wonder how she breath?" coz I dont see any gap between her face and her mama's chest.

Then hub's sis said "yeah....I wonder too. Silly girl....I'm sweating now and yet she still stick to me like that. Maybe the more sweat I get, the more she wants".HAHAHAH.....
I told her "yah..the smell is great for her"...children..how cute.

Alrighty....nothing else to write. I wanna shower and go for traditional massage just across mom's house. Only Rp65,000 for 2hours massage. How great is that! Only need 2mins walk from home.

Since I was very little...in fact, since I first know anything at all, all I know is that...I have to burn joystick and pray to this red tablet with chinese writing on it.

Burn the joystick, swing the joystick up and down 3x and stick it to the bowl of ashes/sand, and I'm done.

Never know what is that until I'm quite big and finally know that what I was doing is praying the ancestor. Who are they? They are my grandfather's father, whom I called A-Co.

So it has became a ritual for me that everytime I came over to my yeye's house, I'd burn some joystick, swing it 3x, and stick the joystick. And also on certain date according to chinese calendar.

Only until when I'm in my mid 20s did I really know what all that means.

Praying to ancestor is not worshiping some kind of god nor evil/dark force. We are merely respecting our ancestors who have passed away. Even if they may not 'occupied' that tablet anymore, but we are respecting them. We respect them for giving birth to our grandparents, who have given birth to our parents, who have given birth to us.

Without them, we won't be in this world. They have also raised our grandparents, who have raised our parents, who have raised us. Especially since my A-Co originated from mainland China, who has ventured out for better life and fortune. Without them, we won't have such comfortable life like now.

According to my nai2 story, my A-Co (yeye's dad), he was from Xia Men. He then join the ship to became some kuli work on board. Slowly he became captain of the ship and navigate the ship from China, Medan, Malaysia and Singapore. He finally resides to some small little island near Medan and grew his family there. His tomb is still there. The family will go there every Cheng Beng season, normally falls in early April.

My kong2 (mom's dad) on the other hand, came from China, worked in rubber industry in Malaysia for many years. Then went to work in Medan at leather factory. Met my pho2, get married and have children. Then whole family moved to Jakarta and settled there. My kong2's extended family are still in China (forgot the name).
His tomb is now near Jakarta, 2hrs drive.

I could still remember when my kong2 told me the story of how he met my pho2. Someone told my kong2 he'd be match-make to her on certain date. 2 days before that, he ride a bicycle to secretly check out who is this woman at her work place. He then saw my pho2 was squatting down washing some plates, then he thought to himself "hmm...good hips. Can bear many children for me".
Then he rode more to see her face and thought "woah..pretty also...okay lah!".

So 2 days later when they met, my kong2 already like her. Of coz my pho2 has no idea about this UNTIL that time my kong2 told me that story. At that time, there were only me, my pho2 and ta-i-ma (my eldest aunt/their 1st child). We all laughed so loud and my pho2 felt so shy and gave a small light slap on my kong2's hand and said "you naughty".

How sweet and romantic is that?????....That time my kong2 was 89-90yrs old and my pho2 was 70s. So sweet indeed.

After heard that story, I was so eager to know about my nai2 love story. So after asked her....she gave almost the same story. She said, she was also being match-make to my yeye. But their match-making date is immediately get married.

Apparently my yeye told my nai2, he has checked on her before. That time yeye has came back from fishing with his bunch of guys, then saw nai2 was playing with her friends/siblings. So when someone told yeye he'll be match-make to her, my yeye felt so happy.

Then on wedding day, my yeye already know who is this woman, but my nai2 has no idea. My nai2 said "The first time I saw him was when he opened my veil". WOAH..really amazing!

So yeah..once again....what I'm trying to write is that....praying to ancestor is no wrong. We're respecting them like how we respect our parents.

In my family, we have tradition in praying. We normally pray the ancestor on New Year, Cheng Beng (praying season for the death one), their Death Anniversary and on the 7th month (some said the 'Ghost Festival Season') right before eating that mooncake thing.

Praying ritual doesn't have to be elaborate. We normally just put some fresh fruits, foods, tea, rice, money paper to burn (they said so our ancestor got money to use), and joystick to burn and do some praying.

I used to ask a lotttttt of things from ancestor when I pray. Asking for good grades and work. hahahahaha
but lately...I realised that's not the way. So mostly I asked for ancestor to take care of all of us and be happy, may they be born again in better life. I especially asked my grandfathers to take care of my grandmothers, I think they'd do it coz husband wants to take care of their wife mah

So....when you have time...go and ask your parents or grandparents about their story. Of how they met, how they grow up, their tough time, happy time. Anything.
I really loved listening to all their stories. You'll be amazed listening to your own history.

I've asked how my grandparents met from them.
I've asked how they struggle from my parents.
I've asked how my parents met (that's the funniest story).
How my papa asked permission from my pho2 to marry my mama. Also another funny story.
I've asked how my papa and mama struggle with money and work since they were young. Sad story, but memorable.
I've asked what my papa did and experienced when he first went to Jayapura. How he was being disrespect by own family or other people.
There are just so many sad, wonderful and amazing stories to hear. I'd ask again and again. I really like it coz often I'd imagine it happen in my head.

When I married to Hubs, I asked my in law how they met. But apparently since none of the children asked before, they were shocked at it and dunno how to answer. HAHAHAHAHA.....
Hub's dad said "Your mom check out on me".
Then hub's mom said "NO..who said that! you were the one check out on me."
Then hub's dad said "but you were the one rode the motor and kept on cross over my shop to check me out"
Then hub's mom said "where got! you were the one doing that!..iiihh...OLD liao!"

hahahahahahaahah....no matter what...dunno who's right or wrong, I can tell they had memorable dating story too.
Seeing how they teased each other is really cute.

As for my parents.....my papa friend asked papa to accompany him to date this woman he likes (which is my mama). So bunch of them went to picnic. When the friend pick up my mama and her sister, my mama sat at passenger seat in front and papa sat behind. Papa saw a long hair woman and immediately went out of the car thinking "that's my annoying ex girlfriend". Once out the car, mama turned and looked, papa shocked "WOAH...so BEAUTIFUL...ok..go back inside".

Then at picnic, that friend so shy to approach mama, so papa end up courted mama and they finally date and became couple. Poor that fella!

Papa would ride bicycle with mama to cinema, park, etc. If bring mama home after 7pm, pho2 will stand outside the house holding feather duster and tapping her hand watching them. Papa would stop farrrrrrr faaarrr away from house, let mama down and said "okie....good night"....then mama walked to house and papa ran away. HAHAH....scared kena smack by pho2.

Oh well...so many stories la.......
All I remember so well happily.

So anyway...I need to get myself ready coz I'm going with in-law to pray respect to hub's grandma (from mother side).

So how's my 1st week back in Indo like?...Hmm..I would say..pure pampering.

I dare to say, people who lives in Indo (esp jakarta) really being pampered. They would have so many maids (at least 1 maid), they have so much foods to choose from, things are cheap (relatively) be it products or services, etc.

It's weird seeing how for some people, they just can't survive without a maid/nurse. Now the Lebaran season is coming and all my aunties got headache coz all their maids going back hometown. As result, my aunt can't go anywhere coz no maid. How weird is that?!

My another aunt said "oh no....I'll be so busy I've no maid".
My another aunt said "I cant attend ur bro's wedding coz I dont have maid". My mom said to me "why cant she jst bring her daughter along and lock the house then?".

But those who lives overseas CAN survive without any maid/nurse. So why can't they? I'd say, it's coz they're pampered. They are used to be served on everything and not to do any hard work. So, they see their lives as 'it's a must to a have maid' and 'it's a must to have babysitter for 1 child'. So if you have 2 children, you'd have 2 maids and 2 babysitters. I don't even dare to imagine what if the family have 5 children.

My aunt has 3 maids just for 3 people (parents + 1 child), but another aunt has only 1 maid to cater for 6 people in the house. So I believe that You actually don't really need maid/helper if your family member is only so little, unless you have big family member then you do need help. But it comes back to...if your husband and children willing to help you, I believe you don't really need any maid.

I noticed most of the husbands in Indon don't do any work. They'd just sit and wait to be served. They just open their mouth and said "I'm hungry...I'm thirsty....Where is the food?"

Then I noticed, their children followed the father. They'd do the same to their mom or the maid. So whenever I'm back in Indo, I'd pity my aunties so much coz they'd be ordered around by their husband and children like a maid. Their mindset is that "mom/wife/woman should be the one doing all the work".
now...no wonder they need maid! AHAHAHAHA

On the other hand, being in Indo too long really make me lazy coz I'd too being served by the maid. The room, house and kitchen will be cleaned. The plates will be washed. The clothes will be washed, hang and iron. No wonder if you live in Indo, you'll become a lazy bum!

So here's my 1st week in Indon like:

Day 1: Ate rujak and Bumbu Desa (Sundanese food). Stay over in-law's.
Day 2: Had traditional massage (2hours for only Rp65,000) and family dinner.
Day 3: At pho-pho's house and dinner at Sari Kuring. Stay over mom's.
Day 4: Gym in morning. At nai-nai's and san-suk's house for whole day and continue pho2's house. Dinner kwetiau a-kang (medan style).
Day 5: Gym in morning. Shopping with mom, aunt and niece for 1/2day and dinner seafood.
Day 6: Gym in morning. Had hair cut, hair mask, facial and body massage with mom. And shopping with mom. Stay over at pho2's house.
Day 7: Had relaxing morning. Gonna have praying service to commemorate the death of my kong2 and going back to in-law's.

There you go....it's all about eat, shop and eat. Gosh........
I hope by next month I could still fit into my dress that I'm gonna wear for my bro's wedding.

Shall update my blog again next time.

I'm writing about the Dhammadessana I heard from Bhante Pannaloka in the last praying service (8 Aug 09).

Bhante talked about the things needed for the spiritual development for the Buddhist.

It is said, when we listen or hear about Dhamma, we should practice it, not just learn/read without practicing.

Dhamma is like a mirror. We look at ourselves in mirror to correct what's not appropriate/wrong to make us look better and nicer. Hence, Dhamma is like a mirror. We need to practice/use Dhamma to correct ourselves so we can be a better, nicer and wise person.

So, the pre-requisite for this spiritual development is Sadha, which means faith.

Why do we need faith? Well...faith/sadha is needed to make that person/ourselves to act more properly. Simple eg, we have faith in our family to take care of them, so we would do our best to protect, care and love them as much as we could.

If we don't have faith in something (be it life, religion, family, partner, etc), we wont' be doing all those wholeheartedly. Thus, Sadha is the most important thing in the path of development of Dhamma. It is the first step for everyone to develop.

Now, we are not saying you need to bow & worship to Buddha statue to have the faith or show the faith in Buddha/Buddhism. We are merely respecting, worship and value the Compassion and Wisdom of the Buddha himself (the quality).

For the Buddhist, we always chant Buddhanussati sutta. Do you really know what it means?

Iti pi so Bhagavā Arahaṃ Sammā-sambuddho,
Vijjā-caraṇa-sampanno Sugato Lokavidū,
Anuttaro purisa-damma-sārathi satthā deva-manussānaṃ
Buddho Bhagavā’ti

Translation:
Demikianlah Sang Bhagava, yang maha suci, yang telah mencapai penerangan sempurna. Sempurna pengetahuan serta tindak-tandukNya, sempurna menempuh Jalan (ke Nibbana). Pengenal segenap alam, pembimbing manusia yang tiada taranya, guru para dewa dan manusia yang sadar (bangun), yang patut dimuliakan.

So, you see...we are chanting the Buddhanusatti sutta to show we do worship the compassion, wisdom and value of the Buddha, which are the noble quality of the Buddha. Why do we need to do so? Coz a Buddha is a person who has reached the highest level of compassion and wisdom.

The word Arahaṃ means "one who never do anything wrong, even in secret". A Buddha never do anything wrong, in front or behind its people. Thus, a Boddhisatta & Arahat will never create anymore Karma when they have reached that level, but their past Karma still come to them.

The word Bhagava means "the blessed one".
The word Sammā-sambuddho means "the fully enlightened one, who has realized everything in this world. Thus, the highest level of mind".

The word Vijjā means "knowledge (that comes under Wisdom)".
The word caraṇa means "behaviour".
The word Sugato means "who reach to nibbana/nirvana".
The word Lokavidū means "who nail the world (Wisdom)".

So again, we are chanting the sutta to worship and value the Buddha's quality, which are the wisdom and compassion. Not the person, the statue, the name or etc.

Buddha himself said "Don't trust external value/force to help you, but rely and depend entirely on yourself, your own mind". Practice it, make effort. Don't expect things will just "come" on to you.

Devotion to Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha will give you courage and determination in practicing Dhamma and spiritual development.

We, also, shouldn't just have blind faith/sadha to the Sangha. We should have faith to the Sangha to those who practice the Dhamma, the value, the good and correct (rightful) monk; those who can give guide, not those who don't even practice Dhamma.

My rule of thumb "if you feel something is wrong with that one particular monk, then you should start look elsewhere. Don't just because they're wearing a robe, you should trust them 1001%. Because a monk still a person, they still can do wrong and have emotion".

So the 3 steps of this spiritual development are:

1) Dana
Dana basically means giving away to other people something that you like and own. Why we need to do this? Well, this is to practice letting go.

Why practice that? It's to prepare ourselves from "attachment", coz the Buddha said "everything is impermanence". If we always practice giving away something we like, hopefully, when we are losing something, we won't feel too sad about it.

Giving my own example. We were robed in Macau during our trip in Jan 09. We lost lots of money from that stupid taxi driver. Of coz I felt so sad and devastated over that event. Thankfully, Hub and I were strong about it. Although we are sad, but we realised that nothing is permanent. Eventually, we will also 'finish' that money by spending it. It is okay. We lost it now (although in bad way), but we will gain it back again one day. I told hub "I could cry non stop about it, but what good would it do? The money won't come back to me just like that. I have to just accept it's gone and live with it. And move on. We just need to find money again then". Thankfully, Hubs are strong too and patient with it. I'd say, good thing we practice Dhamma and meditation, so we are, even in little way, have strong mind

2) Sila
Sila basically means the precepts, virtue, morality, or discipline. It is to control our body (speaks & actions) and words. When we practice pancasila (the 5 sila) and chant pancasila sutta, it doesn't mean we promise to Buddha or the monk about those 5 sila, but it means we are promising ourselves not to violate those sila. We are practicing sila to be a good and wiser person, not so because we can go to heaven/hell.

What are the 5 sila?
Pāṇātipātā veramaṇī sikkhā-padaṃ samādiyāmi.
Adinnādānā veramaṇī sikkhā-padaṃ samādiyāmi.
Kāmesu micchācārā veramaṇī sikkhā-padaṃ samādiyāmi.
Musāvādā veramaṇī sikkhā-padaṃ samādiyāmi.
Surā-meraya-majja-pamādaṭṭhānā veramaṇī sikkhā-padaṃ samādiyāmi.

Translation:
I undertake to observe the precept to abstain from destroying living beings.
... taking things not given.
... sexual misconduct.
... false speech.
... taking liquor causing intoxication and heedlessness.
I undertake to observe the Five Precepts to the best of my ability.(3x)

So you see, without Sila, a person tend to be more wild and lose. If we practice Sila, for e.g., when someone make us soooooo angry until we wanna punch/kill him, we will think again of the Sila we've promised and realised why we get angry in first place and abstain from doing so (to punch/kill).
Without Sila, it is very difficult to develop into the spiritual path.

3) Bhavana
Bhavana means meditation. Meditation is useful to help us purify our mind from all our senses (eye, nose, ear, etc). Why purify it? Coz our senses, most of the time, are impure from hate, desire, anger, emotion, etc.

Oh ya....the monk said "when you meditating, doesn't mean you should sleep, but concentrate". Concentrate is the most difficult thing for me to do

Now, the 5 hindrances of practicing and developing of the spiritual path:
1) Desire for sexual pleasure (aside from your own partner)
2) Anger (if we practice meditation, we can control our emotion easier/better).
3) Laziness (always lazy to practice Dhamma, keep on postponing).
4) Restless & wrong (about everything)
5) Doubt (or confusion)

.....................

There you have it. The Buddhist Spiritual Path.

I hope this will give you some guidance and help in your own spiritual development.

May the Tri-Ratna always be with you.

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

Due to one reason of another, I have to go back Indo on Wed early wee morning. Meaning, I'v to go to airport on Tue night.

Gosh...time flies so fast. I don't wanna go back, but I also wanna go back. It is sad that I've to leave hubby behind. But it's okay....Hub kept reminding me that I can meet all our beautiful nephews and nieces, and especially our parents. And definitely will meet Hubby again pretty soon.

It's funny. I never ever have my own nephew and niece. But the moment we got married (ROM), all of sudden, I inherited 3 nephews and 1 niece. Then few weeks before our wedding banquet ceremony in Dec 08, we got 1 more nephew & niece. All of sudden, I have many new titles.
Qiu Me, Ku Ku (Ququ), and Pek Mu.

It's funny how we could suddenly developed so much love and affections to those little nephews and nieces. They are just plain adorable and squishy. Cant even imagine how would we feel once we have our own child. I still cant imagine what every parents' feeling when they held their baby on their hand.....I will once I have my own
*sadhu sadhu sadhu*

So what have I prepared to go back Indo? Hmm..initially, I thought I'll just bring few clothes back, put my medium luggage inside the big luggage since I dont have stuff to bring back.

Oh boy..how wrong was I?! Due to our love to our little nephews and nieces, we've bought each of them some gifts from LA. Then mom asked me to buy some stuff, some stuff for Hub's parents, some stuff for my parents, friends asked me to bring some stuff back to Indo to give to their family......
End up...now both my medium and big luggage are full. I wonder if it'll be overweight! It seems I've to re-pack my luggage now.

Since we're also selling the house, I've to pack all my stuff into boxes so when it's time to move out, Hub won't have much trouble packing and finding my stuff. That way, it'll be wayyyy easier for me to find back all my stuff.

Two weeks ago we went to Indio, CA with bunch of our friends. Oh boy....we had so much fun even thou the place was scorching hot like a hot oven. We all pretty much hide ourselves inside the resort's room and just enjoyed the pool for the kids' sake.

All the mothers cooked so much foods that all we did, just ate and talk. It's really great. And yeah..everyone took so much pictures from their own camera. I think we had a total of about 400 pictures. Crazy.

Last Saturday at our regular praying service, my cousin had a baby shower celebration at Vihara. It was simple and fun. Everyone did a quick simple decoration and games. It was fun games too. Of coz I didn't win

Oh yeah...we had Durian Cake. My fav cake. Super yummy. Cuz's tummy has grown so big now and looking ever more radiant by each day. I bet she'll be a wonderful mother.

After that, bunch of us went to OC Fair (Orange County Fair) at around 5-6pm. Wow..my 1st ever fair experience in LA, but the 2nd time in my whole life. My 1st ever fair experience was in Sydney during their Easter Fair celebration where there were lots of livestock and the smell were so overpowering. I tried pumping some milk out of real life cow in Sydney.

So when I saw some livestock here in OC Fair, I didn't want to touch them no more coz my aim was "eat eat eat eat eat". Indeed hub and I ate so much....we had funnel cake, 3 corns, blooming onion (fried onion), the super sweet greek's dessert, frozen banana ice cream, and Twinkies.

The children had blast playing those rides and ate so many junk foods. Of coz the parents get so happy too seeing their children were so happy. We all finally went back at around 12pm. Gosh...super tired.

The following day (Sunday), Hub and I went for gym. Work out baby.....we need to burn those calories. I only managed to burn 233 calories on the elliptical machine and did some floor works and weights. I hope there were at least 500-600 calories there.

We then walked around the mall to kill time coz we had open house from 1-4pm. We ended up bought 2 t-shirt for me at Forever21. Super cheap. Each t-shirt only cost $4.50-$5.50. How wonderful. Can you imagine their profit then from 1 shirt alone?! Ridiculous! Of coz we end the day with a cup of unsweetened Green Tea Bobba....muahahahaha...

We end our night with the left over Ayam Kalasan that I made 2 days before it. Good thing Hub loves the Ayam Kalasan. I'm gonna make him another mini sponge cake today and maybe Nasi Tim.

I'll write about the Dhamma Topic I heard at the Sat's praying service from Bhante Pannalokka on my next post.