Since I was very little...in fact, since I first know anything at all, all I know is that...I have to burn joystick and pray to this red tablet with chinese writing on it.

Burn the joystick, swing the joystick up and down 3x and stick it to the bowl of ashes/sand, and I'm done.

Never know what is that until I'm quite big and finally know that what I was doing is praying the ancestor. Who are they? They are my grandfather's father, whom I called A-Co.

So it has became a ritual for me that everytime I came over to my yeye's house, I'd burn some joystick, swing it 3x, and stick the joystick. And also on certain date according to chinese calendar.

Only until when I'm in my mid 20s did I really know what all that means.

Praying to ancestor is not worshiping some kind of god nor evil/dark force. We are merely respecting our ancestors who have passed away. Even if they may not 'occupied' that tablet anymore, but we are respecting them. We respect them for giving birth to our grandparents, who have given birth to our parents, who have given birth to us.

Without them, we won't be in this world. They have also raised our grandparents, who have raised our parents, who have raised us. Especially since my A-Co originated from mainland China, who has ventured out for better life and fortune. Without them, we won't have such comfortable life like now.

According to my nai2 story, my A-Co (yeye's dad), he was from Xia Men. He then join the ship to became some kuli work on board. Slowly he became captain of the ship and navigate the ship from China, Medan, Malaysia and Singapore. He finally resides to some small little island near Medan and grew his family there. His tomb is still there. The family will go there every Cheng Beng season, normally falls in early April.

My kong2 (mom's dad) on the other hand, came from China, worked in rubber industry in Malaysia for many years. Then went to work in Medan at leather factory. Met my pho2, get married and have children. Then whole family moved to Jakarta and settled there. My kong2's extended family are still in China (forgot the name).
His tomb is now near Jakarta, 2hrs drive.

I could still remember when my kong2 told me the story of how he met my pho2. Someone told my kong2 he'd be match-make to her on certain date. 2 days before that, he ride a bicycle to secretly check out who is this woman at her work place. He then saw my pho2 was squatting down washing some plates, then he thought to himself "hmm...good hips. Can bear many children for me".
Then he rode more to see her face and thought "woah..pretty also...okay lah!".

So 2 days later when they met, my kong2 already like her. Of coz my pho2 has no idea about this UNTIL that time my kong2 told me that story. At that time, there were only me, my pho2 and ta-i-ma (my eldest aunt/their 1st child). We all laughed so loud and my pho2 felt so shy and gave a small light slap on my kong2's hand and said "you naughty".

How sweet and romantic is that?????....That time my kong2 was 89-90yrs old and my pho2 was 70s. So sweet indeed.

After heard that story, I was so eager to know about my nai2 love story. So after asked her....she gave almost the same story. She said, she was also being match-make to my yeye. But their match-making date is immediately get married.

Apparently my yeye told my nai2, he has checked on her before. That time yeye has came back from fishing with his bunch of guys, then saw nai2 was playing with her friends/siblings. So when someone told yeye he'll be match-make to her, my yeye felt so happy.

Then on wedding day, my yeye already know who is this woman, but my nai2 has no idea. My nai2 said "The first time I saw him was when he opened my veil". WOAH..really amazing!

So yeah..once again....what I'm trying to write is that....praying to ancestor is no wrong. We're respecting them like how we respect our parents.

In my family, we have tradition in praying. We normally pray the ancestor on New Year, Cheng Beng (praying season for the death one), their Death Anniversary and on the 7th month (some said the 'Ghost Festival Season') right before eating that mooncake thing.

Praying ritual doesn't have to be elaborate. We normally just put some fresh fruits, foods, tea, rice, money paper to burn (they said so our ancestor got money to use), and joystick to burn and do some praying.

I used to ask a lotttttt of things from ancestor when I pray. Asking for good grades and work. hahahahaha
but lately...I realised that's not the way. So mostly I asked for ancestor to take care of all of us and be happy, may they be born again in better life. I especially asked my grandfathers to take care of my grandmothers, I think they'd do it coz husband wants to take care of their wife mah

So....when you have time...go and ask your parents or grandparents about their story. Of how they met, how they grow up, their tough time, happy time. Anything.
I really loved listening to all their stories. You'll be amazed listening to your own history.

I've asked how my grandparents met from them.
I've asked how they struggle from my parents.
I've asked how my parents met (that's the funniest story).
How my papa asked permission from my pho2 to marry my mama. Also another funny story.
I've asked how my papa and mama struggle with money and work since they were young. Sad story, but memorable.
I've asked what my papa did and experienced when he first went to Jayapura. How he was being disrespect by own family or other people.
There are just so many sad, wonderful and amazing stories to hear. I'd ask again and again. I really like it coz often I'd imagine it happen in my head.

When I married to Hubs, I asked my in law how they met. But apparently since none of the children asked before, they were shocked at it and dunno how to answer. HAHAHAHAHA.....
Hub's dad said "Your mom check out on me".
Then hub's mom said "NO..who said that! you were the one check out on me."
Then hub's dad said "but you were the one rode the motor and kept on cross over my shop to check me out"
Then hub's mom said "where got! you were the one doing that!..iiihh...OLD liao!"

hahahahahahaahah....no matter what...dunno who's right or wrong, I can tell they had memorable dating story too.
Seeing how they teased each other is really cute.

As for my parents.....my papa friend asked papa to accompany him to date this woman he likes (which is my mama). So bunch of them went to picnic. When the friend pick up my mama and her sister, my mama sat at passenger seat in front and papa sat behind. Papa saw a long hair woman and immediately went out of the car thinking "that's my annoying ex girlfriend". Once out the car, mama turned and looked, papa shocked "WOAH...so BEAUTIFUL...ok..go back inside".

Then at picnic, that friend so shy to approach mama, so papa end up courted mama and they finally date and became couple. Poor that fella!

Papa would ride bicycle with mama to cinema, park, etc. If bring mama home after 7pm, pho2 will stand outside the house holding feather duster and tapping her hand watching them. Papa would stop farrrrrrr faaarrr away from house, let mama down and said "okie....good night"....then mama walked to house and papa ran away. HAHAH....scared kena smack by pho2.

Oh well...so many stories la.......
All I remember so well happily.

So anyway...I need to get myself ready coz I'm going with in-law to pray respect to hub's grandma (from mother side).